The Celtic Corsairs
10 years ago
Sunday, November 4, 2012
I have been making sweet passionate love to my new "Heavy Duty" no nonsense Singer sewing machine for about an hour now! The only time we have had any trouble with "PE" is when I request a quick pull out to postpone my orgasm!!! How pathetic am I that I have to post my private sewing moments to the world. It is just that after being frustrated with the "same old-same old" for so long, a romp with a "new trick" is cathartic. I mean Padraic, as I am now calling this hunk of a machine; to fulfill another fantasy of "spending time" with a wild Irish man, has driven me "sewgasmic" that I just had to share and make you all jealous!! I can go to sleep on my new pillowcases, perchance to dream of you know Who!!
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Now,MY experience with the Singer Sewing Machine has been the opposite. Seems that whenever I pushed a piece of cloth through the metal presser foot.....to sew a seam or whatever.....the thing went sapapaasappa ....sending a wad of threads through my cloth on the top and on the bottom. Another 'event' which frustrated me, was having to stop and thread the bobbin..... This daunting Singer Sewing Machine Experience one afternoon is responsible for my son learning swear words at a very early age. Here's what happened: I was in the den attempting to sew while my 15 month old son had been placed in his room a floor above situated directly overhead in his crib supposedly napping. 'La Machine...started doing it's usual thing of sending clumps of thread top and bottom.....I kept pushing the fabric forward and while doing so, I fell into a frustrated rhythm as I went along loudly chanting...'Fuckin machine..Fuckin machine....Fuckin Machine....' over and over. While doing this, I heard a rhythmic sound above which went boom bang boom bang boom...in sync with my chant....I crept upstairs and saw my son, in his crib....rocking it back and forth which was against the wall chanting as he did this boom bang boom bang boom....'fuckin maaachiiiiiineeee fuckin machiiiiiiine' There were two outcomes as a result of this. (A)My son's talent for music and mimicry was discovered, the former of which he pursued in his teens by taking up the drums and trumpet (B) I sold my sewing machine and used the money for a lovely oak antique mirrored bureau gracing our living room. Sewing on a machine....takes me away from people. I now PAY people to sew for me. It gives THEM work and me less stress. Singer Sewing machine IS responsible for my being born though....As in 1915, my grandfather had a job collecting time payments people owed on the Singer Sewing Machine when it first came out. One of the places he collected from was occupied by a family in his neighborhood. The woman, from whom he collected the payments from had a beautiful young 16 year old daughter named Nancy, with whom my grandfather fell in love with at first sight. He was 23 at the time. When he went to collect the next payment, he brought her a rose.
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